The Invisible Currency

Authenticity and algorithm are lines that run parallel.

I have this affliction of showing my emotions on my face with no buffer. I react to anything I am told at level 100. I am honest. Not always when I need to be, and typically not on purpose. It must be something genetic. I tell people “I’m not an actress” to justify giving everyone a piece of my mind often with zero words. My face is a cellophane veil over my emotions.

I have been thinking a lot about authenticity. I’ve written this newsletter three times since the start of March. It feels hard to get right. Authentic is a big buzz word isn’t it? The word is frequently used in two contexts in my life. In years past I heard it more regularly in heist movies, the other in the context of social media. Now unless I am unknowingly in the Ocean’s franchise 90 percent of the time social media is the topic of choice.

Authenticity has become more like an algorithm which completely nullifies the purpose of it. People often share the best strategies for social media and authentic content is always top of the list. They give step-by-step instructions on how to achieve it. The best thing about being authentic is it requires no effort, it’s just existing. In the same way, trying to be cool makes you uncool. Authenticity is a personal expression that only you can define. 

The tendency with social media is to take an idea and go to level 100. To push everything to the extreme. Authenticity at level 100 is the expectation of every creator you love to share every last detail of their life good or bad for the sake of the coveted like. So we get comments like
“You are so relatable!” The purple heart of social media. It says you have sacrificed your privacy for our pleasure and you have won. Authenticity is a currency but, it feels a bit counterfeit the way we harvest it for the masses.

It’s funny to compare authenticity to money because it feels like the currency of social media. The more authentic you are the more power you have and we are rapidly approaching some authentic billionaires. Ethically ambiguous even by social media standards. I have a feeling if we held up those influencers who bear all— if we angle their accounts in the light, we might find a man behind the curtain. Nothing is as it seems. 

To me, there is nothing more real than a lack of sharing. You do not tell your dentist the same story you tell your therapist. Yes, I floss, and my fears of intimacy I think started in middle school. You don’t tell social media what you tell your friends over a glass of wine for the sake of views. 

Sharing my top ten worst experiences in life doesn’t make me feel authentic. If I posted my worst first date story I doubt my followers would exclaim
“FINALLY! The real stuff!” Yet in some corners of the internet that is the expectation. The standards people are held to make it seem like we must earn the right to be online. The reward for baring all is freedom. If you give everything now then later we will ask less of you, often because we are sick of you. 

Social media requires a gap to be entertaining. There has to be a clear divide between posting and living. In February I was tagged in a few posts about creators who make social media fun. One woman said my social media was entertaining because there was a clear gap between my life online vs. off. This made me jump for joy. Social media becomes fun when sharing is an organic act.

If we want authentic creators we have to accept it at every level. Some creators love sharing their lives in full and some only share their niche knowledge revealing one micro point of their lives. Neither of these two creators are more or less authentic than the other. Of course, the pressure to share it all is high. But, by focusing so much on capitalizing on our experiences we are feeding a parasite, we are automatons in our own lives. Our social media becomes our beating heart. 

The great thing is always that it doesn’t have to be this way. If we adjust our expectations, if we go on social media and don’t think strategy, or take a fine tooth comb through our memories to squeeze every last drop of content out of ourselves then it can be an enjoyable place. Not just for us but for the people consuming it. If we take what we expect of ourselves and apply it to others we can see the bigger picture. Any piece of information shared is a bonus to being online. Think about the videos or posts you’ve liked. Often it’s the product of a real genuine moment. It is never a formula.

I have fallen victim to being both the person who buckles to the pressure and the frustrated follower who just wants more. I am no better than anyone but as social media has evolved I learned how to relax to the rhythm. I now understand that authenticity is not always what I expect, and often true authenticity is never an act.

I am not an actress, I cannot go on social media and pretend. I am a person. I follow people who share in a way that feels organic to their lives. Those who don’t harvest social media for power but use it for pleasure. Who enjoy it, who have fun. You can make social media fun again if you look for people who aren’t tap dancing for the world. There are corners of the internet where fun bursts out in bucketfuls and those are the people you never feel like asking for more from. This is a section of the internet where authenticity is not a currency but a default. 

Of course, people will still ask for more. We will never have a social media standard that is just right, but I believe you can follow people who make it worthwhile. Surrounding yourself with like-minded people makes a home in something that is often unfriendly. I love the home I have created and the lessons I have learned in asking for more and for giving more than I want. I love the freedom I have to be a person and am grateful I am rarely snarked upon. But if say, someone is constantly asking you for more than you are willing to give, I encourage you to direct them to the wise philosophy of Jagger and Richards— you can’t always get what you want.