Empty Well

What my search bar found this week.

From My Search Bar was born because I wanted to share the things I went searching for. When I was working jobs I didn’t really like, I would spend my time finding the things I did like. I have always wanted to get back to sharing that, maybe not weekly, but regularly. I am currently in a space where I need to find this inspiration again. My well is currently empty, and my daily scroll is quite depressing. We are in a cultural moment on the internet that I don’t love. Everything is how to be a hot, cool girl by using the right affiliate link. Then the same person posting about how to be a cool girl has their next post as something like,
“you don’t want to be a hot cool girl, you want to be a quirky girl.”
It’s all meaningless words to me. The harshest reality check many people on the internet need is that no purchase of a product will ever make you a cool or hot anything; you just have to decide you are. Nothing else matters. But being cool is not the only thing you can find on the internet! That’s the crazy part, there’s so many other inspiring things to be, and to seek out. So I’m sharing mine, because I am tired of the internet feeling like middle school.

I want to share again because I am finding myself at a similar crossroads as when I started this. I am trying to figure out what kinds of things excite me. It’s not the same segment as it was on Instagram, but it’s a version of it. I don’t want to over-explain what I intend to do with this style of newsletter, though I likely already have. Do me a favor and just roll with it. So, in an attempt to make the internet what I need it to be, here is everything I went looking for this week.

1. I keep thinking of this gallery installation where the walls are filled with postcards that people can take. I would love to do something like this, where people can take their favorite piece. It’s not meant to be some big comment like, well, we can only get the whole exhibition back together if we all meet up at the same time. Nothing like that. I mean it more as, I want my world to stay tangible, I want to live in a world where I can hold the things I love.

2. My whole Pinterest feed is full of journaling because I'm constantly looking at stationery. I am not a very aesthetically pleasing journaler because I am not an aesthetically pleasing person. I have always loved Octavia Butler’s journals from the perspective of their certainty. This is what I am going to do. It’s inspiring to me.

3. I read this book, The Hounding, this week and loved it. I spent most of the week trying to find books like it. It has a virgin suicides like quality to it. My favorite thing about The Virgin Suicides is that the story is told by a choir of nameless boys who know the girls. It’s perhaps my favorite point of view. In some way, this book is similar but not quite that, but it’s better that way. Tons of outside perspective on a group of sisters. What’s not to love?

4. I re-watched Chicago and cannot get enough of John C. Riley’s Mr. Cellophane. He’s dressed as a clown (I believe). Which got me down a rabbit hole of clown photoshoots. I love the theatrics of it and find the costuming so visually interesting. I feel like I would like to see people not take themselves so seriously in images. Everything is for the purpose of authenticity lately, and we’re losing the fun of free will. Anyway, clown photography is hard to find! If anyone in the greater NYC area wants to participate in such a shoot, don’t be afraid to contact me. Especially if you have the clothes for it.

5. I think every artist I know dreams of a studio of their own. So when I dream, I look up flat files. I become entranced with the idea of an archive. Something you can’t have right away, something that comes with time. In an instantaneous world, there’s nothing better than that. It’s the ultimate studio purchase in my opinion. If you ever see me with a flat file, just know I believe wholeheartedly that I have made it.

6. I started re-watching Mad Men. I love a 60s style reference. Specifically, shift dresses and the makeup. I don’t wear a ton of makeup, but if I ever had the chance to do a green or powder blue eye shadow, I would in a heartbeat. I believe that the simple pop of color really elevates a very classic look.

7. I keep thinking about this interview, along with Ethan Hawke’s

   “The one who loves always wins,”
   because it flips the perspective on something that is so often uncomfortable with people. Thursday, I was trying to sit better with my personal failures of the week. I was searching for these feelings that I often see as embarrassing or hard to deal with, and make peace with their existence.

8. I am, in some ways, always looking at Polaroids. Much like the archive, I dream of one day having a giant collection. I love looking at Polaroid art, I love Polaroid. My favorite sort of photography is a singular instance that captures the energy of the moment. I find the relaxed nature of Polaroids allows people to be themselves. If I could just shoot Polaroid, I likely would.

9. I am working on something that requires me to revisit Mike Mills. I think most people assumed I knew him already because our work can be aligned (which is not to say I am as good as Mike Mills, but that our style requires immense sentimentality). I was only shown his work two years ago, and now I feel like I look to his work for a lifeline. I love the images he took of the things he found in his nieces' rooms. The documentation of owned objects is very beautiful to me. The everyday trinkets that make up a person.

See you soon.