Do not despair, believe that I believe

My sister called my dad this morning. Deja vu. We called our parents in the same fashion 8 years ago in 2016 when we thought it would never happen. I learned of the news this morning from a text that first appeared on my phone.

“Just saw the news, I’m so sorry.”

I think people messaged me because I had remained hopeful. I gave them words to encourage that helped me get through this election season. Only for my hopes to never really materialize. I was devastated as a lot of people were to learn of the news this morning. Still when my friends texted I’d give them words of hope. To lose all hope right now— even if the worst happens, I have to have something to believe in. Hope has never been something I was ashamed of having. There is a sense of realism in hope that pessimists dismiss. This belief that things can change. It’s a hard belief to hold onto yet the only thing I truly know how to do better than breathing.

My sister called my dad. I called my mom because it was early and my dad had worked the polls. My mom gave me a lot of advice. We will keep living. We will survive it. We will do it together even if it’s hard. She later texted “I will continue to look for the good.” Which I saved to my notes. I get my hope from my mom and I’m glad. My sister texted me later what my dad said to her over the phone

“I have to go to work but don’t despair. You’re gonna do what you did last year. And the year before. You’re gonna go on your walks and we’ll visit and you’ll visit. Don’t despair don’t despair.”

I don’t know if having hope is useless. But I need it to survive this. I understand that things look worse for a lot of people that look nothing like me. I’m doing my best to figure out how to help when this goes into effect. There must be a way and I refuse to think otherwise. Shortly I imagine, there will be information on what we can do to help. There is this saying my mom tells us when we are stressed

“Believe that I believe” so I offer those same words of comfort to everyone here. I believe there is a way out of this, and I’ll keep living for that hope. It’s the only way I can see out of this. It’s the only way I really know to do today. Whatever you must do to survive today do it. Grieve, cry, scream as everyone says. Even if I’m wrong and it all turns to shit, I will hope for change that benefits all and not few, until the very end.