If You're Not First, You're Doing Alright
our fear of being unoriginal keeps us from being ourselves
One of the most important facts I was ever told was in my first year in art school.
“Every photo you take, every idea you have has already been done”
The very statement was a terrifying realization. I was destined to be just like everyone else. Every story I want to tell has already been told, everything was already done. But, the longer I thought about it the better I felt. Yes, the stories I want to tell have already been told but, they haven’t been told my way. I wouldn’t be the first nor would I be the last to photograph the trials of being a human. Art was never about doing anything first, but about making what you feel compelled to make no matter the circumstances. My ability to be creative, was really just how my point of view made the stories I told feel new. I would never be first, and after that first week it was not a terrifying idea at all, it was freeing.
The longer I was in art school, the more I saw proof of this idea. In my first art history course I saw what I can only describe as 25 million portraits of “Madonna and Child” and all of them were an important contribution to art. In my senior year in the fall semester, all we were asked to do was find artists who created projects that were exactly like ours for reference. We were told to find as much as possible. Every little connection I could find I used. It became exciting to explore and look deep into what it was I was trying to say. To find people saying the same things, to find people just like me. Seeing someone else’s perspective on a subject I was also discussing was exhilarating. How their ideas and their views differed from my own. Their work would become a valuable reference even when the final product would look like I was inspired by almost anyone else.
All of these ideas together in the art world make me turn to the fashion side of social media and ask “what gives?!” There is suddenly an influx of videos and social media posts of people claiming to have done everything first. This claim feels like it’s an inside joke with the rest of the internet and I’m stuck here wondering what I’m missing. The people who don’t often make real personal style decisions help a product go viral and act like they started a movement. It is irritating. The statement is like this buzzing in my ear that I can’t escape. It creates unnecessary competition and projects the idea that the only thing worth anyone’s time is the next big thing. Everyone’s going to Zara and Artizia and believing they discovered The Beatles of fashion when in reality it’s just a new pair of jeans.
It’s easy, and I think at this point almost natural to view fashion as a series of pointing fingers, even if often the finger is pointed back at ourselves. I believe there are moments where people need to take credit for the popularization of styles, there are groups of people often allocated as the creators of a movement. But I don’t believe in taking credit to singular pieces, trends (not the “indie sleaze” genre but more the “coastal grandma” genre), or the wearing of an item that becomes mainstream. Sometimes when I am scrolling through TikTok every video has someone taking credit for the next trend. The newest shoe, this week’s dress, the new “aesthetic” that is so hyper-specific only a few people can actually claim it as their personal look. This practice makes me believe people have lost sight of why we develop our personal style. In pining to be first we have lost sight of what it is we really mean to do when we get dressed, which is not to be first but to feel like ourselves. We have suddenly decided somewhere that to reference is to copy. To be inspired by is to be a criminal offense. Maybe it was the creation of Diet Prada that forced us to feel we needed to reinvent the wheel in fear of being called a cheater. Bad fashion is a look we feel we’ve seen before. I don’t believe in copying, but I do believe it is valuable to understand the origins of what you long to wear. As an artist we are encouraged to look at other art, to become inspired. Our personal style deserves the same level of care and assessment. We are meant to look, art is an observation of life, and to see other work is to grow.
Personal style is no different than any other art form. The same reasons art school was fun for me, are the reasons developing a personal style and getting dressed every morning is exhilarating. To seamlessly and unknowingly reference all the things that have inspired the purchase of the clothes in your closet. Taking that inspiration and transforming a piece or a look, to become something more like you. I have never claimed to do anything first when it comes to fashion. I love referencing from the past. I am hyper-aware of the language I use on TikTok to ensure I never take credit for anything. Yes, I developed my personal style, but in order to do so I had to look to the people of the past who I thought were incredibly fashionable. People like Little Edie, Jane Fonda, and even the cast of the movie Clue. I could never claim to do anything first because I find so much joy in letting very specific references from the past drive me forward.
To no one's fault again that we have felt the need to “claim” what is ours. I have seen hundreds of videos of people pointing the finger at who did what first. People who have copied so and so for doing something hundreds of people have done and not posted on the internet. The popularization of a product does not mean the one who made it viral was the first to do it. This is a line I must draw firmly. Leandra Medine was not the inventor of the balaclava despite all of TikTok screaming it at me. I have seen “it” girls claim to be the inventors of eyebrow gel, in Vogue Beauty videos stating that they brushed a bit of mascara to their brows at festivals and now everyone’s doing it. That’s like saying because no one was in the pool before you jumped in, you invented swimming. The remark feels like a pointless dig to look down on people. To me, it translates to hey guys you’re all just trying to be me. Everyone wants to feel seen and inspiring, but there are healthier ways to do so.
I won’t pretend I don’t get a little bit disappointed when I see something I really love start to be mass marketed. When our favorite accessory goes viral it feels like a piece of you is lost to the rest of the world. You feel protective. The Yeah Yeah Yeah’s said it best, they don’t love you like I love you. I was not totally stoked when everyone started wearing balaclavas despite the fact that I was constantly posting encouraging people to wear them. I didn’t believe I was the inventor or creator, I simply liked them so much, to see them everywhere felt too much. I wanted a niche circle but got Shein balaclava hauls. Sometimes we just want things to be ours. We want to prove we have loved something before people told us to love it. Our only defense becomes this claim that we did something first. We attempt to show our love by saying I was here when no one else was. Sometimes you want to claim the unclaimable even when it feels irrational to do so. I get it. I know through personal experience that sharing your love with others eliminates that jealousy we so easily feel.
As people we have to stop shedding light on the wrong parts of personal style and fashion itself. There is a reason personal style isn’t in the Olympics. There’s no medal for being the first person to wear a Zara dress. If you’re only looking to be brand new then you’re personal style will suffer the consequences. There will be no sense of self when you’re focused on outdoing the rest of us. Instead, be original in the way you wear your pieces. Make them your own. It’s okay to buy the viral tiktok dress if it fits your personal style. You’ll never wear it the same as anyone else anyways.
Personal style and simply showcasing what that is has connected me to so many people. The reason I follow them is because they promote the best parts of this form of self-expression. I have never felt in competition with anyone, I hope we all have viral videos, positive reactions, and a community of people who love the same things we love. There have been many generations of people, it is comforting to know a girl in 1923 might have also loved an accessory the way I love just about all of them. I hope someone in 1876 loved to wear just as much blush as I do, I hope the people my grandmother was friends with when she was my age loved mini skirts and wore them just as well. If you frame it right, it is comforting to find we are not the first, and will never be the last.
I know it is a bit of a battle. I’ve discussed not following an aesthetic, but have also now claimed you’ll never be first. These are two end points of a spectrum and these endpoints are where we lose sight. As people, we need to remain balanced. If you focus too much on either end of the spectrum you’ll never have any fun.
I honestly love your take on things and they way you write about them 💘 I’m constantly being inspired by you!
such a brilliant essay ❤️